Does Your Dog Have Big Feelings? Here’s How to Help Them

Big Feelings. This can be a broad topic, big feelings are just that, feelings that are so big, they are hard to feel, hard to control, especially for sensitive dogs. They can be good, bad or somewhere in between, but for better or worse, they exist and they can be quite the rollercoaster.  

To better understand how to help our dogs when they experience Big Feelings, let's break it down.

What Do “Big Feelings” Mean in Dogs?

We touched on this in the intro, but Big Feelings are loud, sometimes explosive emotional responses to overwhelming stimulation or situations. These can encapsulate feelings from joy through to fear. Consider some examples with me.

• The dog who just can't stop wiggling when they see you, the dog who is so thrilled you're home they have to grab a toy. Those are dogs with excited big feelings. (Possibly with some conflicting emotions, but that depends on the individual dog and context.) 
• The dog who jumps up at you and mouths when you try to redirect them from sniffing something dangerous, the dog who grabs the leash at the smallest inconvenience... guess what, that's frustrated big feelings.
• The dog who cowers at every loud noise, who will belly crawl along the floor to you. Those are some fearful big feelings.

And what about Zoomies? Well, Zoomies can be positive or negative, again this depends on the context and the dog. In short, big feelings are feelings so overwhelming that the dog needs an outlet to vent them. In fact, I would guarantee that you have experienced big feelings. Just like us, dogs can get flooded with emotions. The difference is that they don’t have words to express them — they have behaviours. Those behaviours can appear as undesirable to us humans who have spent years being told that good dogs are quiet, unassuming and obedient. 

Those behaviours can be things like barking, lunging, hiding, spinning, freezing, pulling away and even mouthing or biting. I'm here to tell you that those behaviours aren't bad. Let's look at why. 

Why Big Feelings Aren’t “Bad Behaviour”

It may come as a surprise to learn that Dogs don’t have a moral compass. Afterall don't they seem to know when they've misbehaved? Don't they seem to purposefully disobey a request? And sometimes, don't they seem to know what the best course of action is? But here is the thing, when a dog displays loud behaviours due to big feelings — they’re not naughty, they’re struggling.

Yes, you heard me. Behaviours we find inconvenient are often coping strategies. Let's frame it another way... have you ever had a panic attack? If so, did you react rationally? Of course not. A panic attack is an uncontrollable event, a response to extreme stress. In fact, panic attacks hit you like a storm surge. You can experience intense fear, or discomfort that climbs up to a terrifying peak of distress. 

These attacks are often accompanied by a range of physical and psychological symptoms including palpitations, sweating, trembling, shortness of breath, chest pain, dizziness, and numbness. What's more, in some cases, panic attacks can be bad enough to experience a fear of losing control or even dying. In a panic attack, nothing matters except what you are feeling, and if you're fortunate to have a good support system, you have people to guide you through it. To ground you. To help you get out of survival mode. 

So what about our dogs? Our dogs can't tell us what they are feeling, they can only express it in the natural ways they know how. The desire to be close to you turns into them bouncing all over you or knocking you over. The desire for space turns into barking and lunging. Dogs aren't robots, they are sentient beings, like us. They deserve patience, guidance and love. 

When dogs are consistently struggling with these emotions and guardians are concerned about their behaviour, they often consult a trainer to stop the behaviours. However, stopping the behaviour isn't what is needed, in fact, the use of forceful methods or tools to stop "problematic behaviours" can suppress emotions, leading dogs to close off, to resist expressing themselves due to fear. This leads to a storm brewing inside them until one day, something small can make them snap. 

So if stopping the behaviour isn't the solution, what is? Personally, I see such behaviours as signals, communication. Calling for understanding, craving Safety, Empathy, and Regulation — not punishment.

Understanding Sensitivity and Triggers

Due to factors like genetics and breed traits, some dogs can be predisposed to sensitivity to triggers, leading to emotional overload. I often see herding breeds especially struggling with reactivity due to a high drive for work, yet not living in a suitable environment. They also tend to be more sensitive to sounds and reach a stress limit faster. 

It isn't just herding breeds though, any breed of dog can be considered reactive or sensitive. In many cases pain and physical or psychological trauma can contribute to sensitivity, leading to what many know today as reactivity. In other cases, it can be due to poor socialization, overstimulation, or lack of outlets and thorough decompression.

When dogs are struggling with reactivity, I don't like to label them as "Reactive" although that is the widely accepted term. Yet, there is so much more to them. Reactivity focuses on the result, on what the consequences are, on what the dog is doing rather than focusing on what is happening to elicit that response. In short, "Sensitivity" focuses on the why behind the behaviour. Knowing the why can help us support our dogs in a better way. 

Reactivity also doesn't have to be negative, reacting to something simply means to respond, to change in response to a stimulus.

Sensitive dogs feel deeply. Triggers are a huge deal, think of a trigger as something that pushes an emotional button — a bit like how we might flinch at a sudden noise, or tense up when reminded of a bad memory. Trauma survivors experience this a lot, a negative response to something that triggers a memory of previous abuse, trauma or unwanted/stressful situation. 

For dogs, triggers can be anything—people, other dogs, noises, even something as seemingly unimportant or as small as a leaf—these reactions happen quickly and automatically. Their bodies react before they know it, their brains go straight into “survival mode,” and they need time, space, and support to feel safe again. So how can we help them feel safe again?

How to Support Dogs with Big Feelings

Let's talk about decompression. The process of experiencing decompression is the act or process of relieving or reducing pressure.

Triggers and Decompression are often explained with this situation:

Imagine your dog’s emotional state as a candle.

Trigger: Lights the Candle. Every time your dog experiences something overwhelming—a loud noise, a stressful encounter, or even a memory—it’s like someone lighting a candle. The flame represents their big feelings, growing brighter and hotter the longer it burns unchecked. 

When triggers are experienced consistently in a short period of time, it leads to an overwhelming emotional state that can push the dog past its coping threshold. This is commonly referred to as Trigger Stacking. Each individual trigger may be manageable on its own, but when they occur in succession without adequate recovery time, the stress levels build up, create pressure and this results in heightened anxiety, fear and it spills out into unwanted behaviours.

Now, here is the important part for managing and coping with Triggers and Big Feelings, Decompression. 

Decompression: Carefully Putting Out the Candle. If we ignore the flame,  or delay putting it out, it grows. Just as candles shouldn't be left burning in real life, if we don't address the emotions that are bottling up, we end up with fire that’s hard to manage, sometimes impossible to put out. If we extinguish as many of those candles as possible before they erupt, we can help our dogs experience peace, safety and help them build resilience and help them cultivate the ability to recover.

So, Decompression is the intentional support we give. What can we give or do for our dogs to encourage Decompression?

• Providing a Safe Space where they can rest
• Creating wind down or calming routines (settling, petting time, grooming time)
• Providing Enrichment (Snuffle mats, Treat Puzzles, Chews, Games designed for their breed or specifically for sniffing)

Allowing our dogs to sniff actively helps them to process their emotions, in addition, ensuring they get restful sleep (adult dogs require anything from 12 - 16 hours per day) can help them to function and builds resilience and confidence. 

If we are empathetic in our handling of our dogs, we actively help and support them. By helping your dog release their big feelings safely, we carefully extinguish the flames before they flare into a “fire.” We help them process their emotions, and gain experience in recovery. We set them up for Success.

A Note on My S.E.R.E.N.E.™ Philosophy & Framework

My S.E.R.E.N.E.™ Framework is like embroidery threads. Each thread alone is important and useful, but when woven together, they create a beautiful tapestry of success. A tapestry that not only helps dogs overcome their fears but also guides guardians to truly understand their dogs’ needs — fostering teamwork, harmony, and a deeper bond. ((Or — here’s my shameless little plug — helping them thrive with - Ultimutt Serenity) 

S.E.R.E.N.E.™ stands for:

S – Safety.
E – Empathy.
R – Regulation.
E – Exploration.
N – Nurture.
E – Empowerment.

This is my personally designed framework that I use in all of my customized training programs. Each program is tailored to the unique needs of the dogs I work with, helping them move at their own pace while making meaningful progress. Most importantly, it preserves their emotional health and wellbeing — setting them and their Guardians up for true, lasting success on their training journey.

Recommendations and Support Options

As mentioned, one of the best ways to support our dogs with big feelings is to give them gentle opportunities to decompress. 

Calming Routines: By creating predictable, soothing routines, you can help your dog’s nervous system reset. Some favourites of mine include:

Sniffari's!: Grabbing a longline, going to a peaceful, quiet place and letting you and your dog slow down together allows your dog to explore with their nose. Sniffari's are deeply relaxing, they are proven to lower stress and stimulate your dog's brain in a positive way.

Slow music, white noise or Dog TV: Certain melodies can calm sensitive dogs. You can try classical, soft instrumental, or tracks specifically designed for canine relaxation. You can even find special channels on Youtube that play music or TV for dogs. 

Cozy recovery spaces: A quiet, safe spot with a bed, blanket, and a favorite toy gives your dog a place to decompress after a stressful experience. Ideally this spot is going to be somewhere that they can have some space, while not being isolated, as well as being inviting enough to encourage restful sleep.

Even small, calm routines can make a big difference over time in helping a dog regulate their emotions.

Enrichment and Scentwork is another fantastic way to help your dog to decompress. A lot of Enrichment is also brilliant for burning excess energy and filling your dog's cup. Engaging their brain helps them develop problem solving skills and encourages agency. Agency and choice can encourage your dog to make good choices and become more confidence when faced with unexpected scary things. Some good enrichment options are:

Scent games: Hide treats around the house or yard and let your dog search for them. Or teach them to find a specific scent or item.

Puzzle toys or treat dispensers: Give them a challenge that rewards focus and problem-solving, as well as encouraging them to use their nose.

Interactive play: Games like fetch, tug or supervised play helps burn off nervous energy while keeping things fun. Movement is so important for sensitive dogs. (Be sure to exercise caution when playing with your dog so as to avoid injury or scaring them.)

The key is letting your dog succeed at their own pace, with no pressure, just fun and mental stimulation.

Another favourite of mine is Flower Essences. I am a huge fan of Blackwing Farms Flower Essences. Meg Harrison, founder and owner of Blackwing Farms has created a wide range of products to help with the mental, physical, and emotional needs of animals. 24 species and counting!

You can give these to your dog before predictable stressors (like vet visits or fireworks) or after a challenging situation to help them settle more quickly. These essences are gentle, plant-based remedies that help dogs (and more!) decompress and manage emotional stress. I have used these with Chise and with many of my clients to help support them with problems and fears they face. My clients benefit from these time and time again, proving that support with kindness is always more powerful than using force. 

Ruby & my Blackwing Farm Collection

You can visit and shop Blackwing Farms here. (Affiliate disclosure: This is an affiliate link — I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products I personally use and trust.)

It's also so important to discuss the importance of Force-Free Training and Consent-Based Handling, also known as Cooperative Care. 

Force Free training is using positive reinforcement techniques to encourage desired behaviours rather than punishing unwanted ones. proven to helping dogs learn and grow, and it produces long lasting, positive behavioural benefits. All without fear or coercion! Using a kind approach supports their emotional health and strengthens trust.

Cooperative Care is setting up predictable stations and allowing your dog to opt-in to exercises or touch, respecting their comfort levels. This can make grooming and medical care enjoyable and safe. It's actually used in Zoo's and Conservation Centers and is wildly successful! 

When dogs feel safe, they can learn. Hand in Hand with decompression, if you use small, achievable steps and finish training sessions on "Wins", you can build your dogs confidence and help them feel safe and empowered. This approach has been proven to reduce reactivity over time.

By combining these strategies, you can equip your dog to process their emotions safely and build resilience, all while strengthening your bond!

A Closing Note: Your Dog’s Feelings Matter — and So Do Yours

Being a Guardian and caregiver for sensitive dogs is incredibly rewarding, but it can be hard, traumatic and painful. Dealing with their big feelings can be so draining and emotional for us too. Remember to breathe, to be kind to yourself. Make sure you take breaks, and don't discount the small wins... Celebrate them! They are still victories, no matter how small. 

I've been where you are, several times, I know your struggle, and I know your successes. You are doing wonderfully, and you and your dog have got this. 

If you’d like to show a little support and love and keep the treat jar full, you can “buy me some dog treats” here, or donate via PayPal here. Your kindness helps me keep writing and sharing calm, compassionate resources for dogs and their humans.

Rebekah Osborne is a certified force-free dog trainer and behaviour consultant based in Canada. She specializes in supporting sensitive, anxious, and traumatised dogs through her holistic S.E.R.E.N.E.™ framework — helping guardians build lasting connection through compassion, not coercion.