The Month of Love: Including Your Dog in Your Relationship

Valentine’s Day may be over, but for many people—whether in new relationships or long-term ones—love continues to grow each day. One of the most common fears guardians carry when entering a new relationship is the feeling that they’re somehow betraying their dog. Time feels divided, energy feels stretched, and guilt quietly worms its way in. For many, loving someone new brings a fear that it must mean loving their dog less.

I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way.

Love for your dog and love for your partner don’t have to compete. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.

For dogs—especially sensitive ones—what matters most isn’t constant attention. It’s emotional safety. When we add predictability and thoughtful inclusion, we create the conditions for trust and regulation to return. When dogs feel abruptly sidelined, their sense of safety can be shaken. But when we take the time to include them in gentle, meaningful ways, many dogs settle far more easily than we expect—and often thrive through new life changes.

When I talk about inclusion, I don’t mean forcing closeness or interaction. I simply mean offering opportunities for connection and involvement. So before anyone scoops up their dog for a three-way hug, let’s look at some low-pressure, safe ways to include your dog in your blossoming relationship.

For dogs, especially sensitive ones, what matters most isn’t constant attention. It’s emotional safety. Add in some predictability and being included and you have a remedy for repairing strained bonds. When dogs feel abruptly sidelined, it can disrupt their nervous systems by affecting their sense of safety and stability. When we take the time to consider our dogs and include them, they often settle more easily than we expect and come to thrive in new life adjustments.

Now, when I talk about inclusion, we aren't talking about forcing closeness or even interaction. I simply mean providing more opportunities for bonding and involvement. So before you go and grab your dog and force them into a three way hug, let's look at low pressure, safe ways to include your dog in your blossoming new relationship.

Including your Dog in Safe, Low-Pressure Ways

Some of the most meaningful shared moments in life are calm and simple. Chill dates that include your dog can help maintain connection without overwhelming anyone. For instance, a nice walk and picnic is something that is right up the alley of most dogs (especially if you include a doggy safe snack). Let's delve a little deeper.

• Decompression walks are a wonderful place to start. Slow, sniff-filled walks allow dogs to process the world at their own pace while you and your partner take your time admiring the sights and sounds without rushing to the next place.

• As mentioned, Picnics with sniff breaks offer a relaxed way to spend time together outdoors. Your dog can explore nearby scents while you enjoy conversation, grounded by nature.

• If your dog is a social butterfly and enjoys public spaces, quiet café patios can work wonderfully—provided your dog has choice, space, and an easy exit if needed.

• Road trips can be great fun for dogs and guardians alike, choosing a nice spot to drive to that your dog will enjoy too can make the drive inclusive for all. Don't forget a pup cup on the way!

• At home, enrichment nights can be deeply regulating. Snuffle mats, lick mats, or calm games and puzzles allow your dog to engage their brain and decompress while you and your partner unwind together. 

All of these moments reinforce that time together doesn't have to be forced, it also doesn’t have to mean overstimulation. Not all connection needs to be hands-on.

Being near one another without direct interaction is incredibly regulating for many dogs. Your partner reading or working quietly while you cuddle your dog, or simply sharing the room during evening wind-down routines can encourage safety without pressure.

Shared routines can also make a big difference. Interactive feeding, bedtime wind downs, and slow mornings together can help dogs understand that this new person is part of a new part of their life, not a disruption to it. However, it's important to remember that if your dog is struggling with the new person, there is no shame in taking it slow and taking some steps back. In fact, your dog will thank you for it. 

New relationships don't need to tread on already established bonds. They need to slowly integrate and expand.

Points to Remember

Including your dog in your relationship can be a great new chapter for you all, but remember these points:

• Inclusion does not mean forcing interaction. 
• Always make sure that your dog has choices and an exit.
• Calm coexistence is still connection.

A dog who feels safe lying nearby without engaging is still participating by staying close. Look out for signs of stress like yawning, lip licking, whale eye and panting. If any of these signs are present, give your dog a break from the new person or activities and help them decompress.

Remember also that your dog does not need to love your partner immediately—or ever—in the way humans define love. What matters most is that they feel safe, respected, and loved.

Thoughtfully written by Becky Osborne. If you enjoyed this and would like to support me further you can:
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The Month of Love: Introducing Your Dog to a New Partner

Introducing your dog to a new partner can feel very high-stakes moment. Your constant companion meeting a new one. For those with sensitive or anxious dogs, there can be unspoken pressure, bated breath and raised heartrates as you try to get the introduction to go perfectly. You hope for everyone to click and for things to feel normal instantly, it isn't always that easy.

For sensitive dogs, safety matters far more than speed. A new person doesn’t just bring a different face into your dog’s world—they bring new scents, movements, energy, and expectations. Even the kindest, most well-meaning partner can feel overwhelming if introductions are rushed or handled without care. So, how can you support your dog when introducing a new partner?

Prioritize Emotional Safety

For dogs who are wary of new people or who be nervous of specific genders, Trauma-informed introductions can help them cope and move at their own pace. These greetings focus on one thing above all else: your dog’s emotional safety. That means letting go of politeness, social expectations, and the idea that your dog should behave a certain way.

Utilize Space

If possible, meet on neutral ground. A calm walk in open space can feel far less intense than an in-home introduction, where someone new entering a safe space can make dogs feel or uncertain.

No pressure to greet

That means no reaching, no hovering, and definitely no staring. These gestures—often meant affectionately—can feel deeply uncomfortable or even threatening to a dog who doesn’t yet feel safe. 

Dogs do not need a hand in their face to get your scent. They have exceptionally powerful noses and a hand in their space can be very scary. 

This also counts for trying to lure the dog with treats. Treats shouldn't be used to lure a dog who doesn't feel safe. If treats are used they should be thrown gently to or near the dog, doing this can help change their emotional state towards the new person. They should not used to coerce them closer.

One of the most powerful things a new partner can do is ignore your dog at first. Let them be curious and let them have lots of space. If safe, allow your dog to approach, retreat, observe, and process at their own pace, give them lots of support throughout the introductions.

Meeting your partner may take more than one meeting. Even when they make it inside, it may take a long time before they can be fully relaxed together, and that is ok! Being calm and prioritizing safety for both dog and humans matters more than interaction. 

Reinforce relaxed behaviour—lying down nearby, sniffing the ground, choosing distance. These are signs of regulation, not disinterest. Be on the lookout for stress signs such as yawning, lip licking, panting, and whale eye. If you see any of these stress signs, give your dog a break and try again another time.

Early visits should be short, predictable, and always end on a good note. Don't try to push through to make it longer. It’s always better to keep it short and sweet, set your dog up for success for the next visit.

What if there is another animal to meet? Let's look at that next. 

When Your Partner Has a Dog or Cat

Introducing your dog to a new human can be challenging enough as we've discussed. But when another animal is involved, it can raise the emotional stakes rise even higher.

These introductions should never be rushed. Meeting another animal brings unfamiliar scents, movement patterns, and social cues that can feel overwhelming or threatening, particularly for sensitive dogs. Small, fast animals can trigger predatory chase patterns, or spark fear. 

When introducing animals, it is important to use space and to also remember that neutrality is success. Curiosity at a distance, paired with calm observation, or even choosing distance are all positive outcomes.

Whenever possible, dog-to-dog introductions should happen in neutral outdoor spaces with plenty of room to move away. Parallel walks are an incredible solution for this. They utilize distance, scents and minimal interactions while allow both dogs to gather information without feeling cornered.

When cats are involved, safety becomes paramount. Cats should always have protected escape routes, vertical space, and the ability to fully disengage. Dogs should never be forced into close proximity or allowed to fixate. Cats can be very exciting to dogs, so separation, barriers, and gradual scent exchanges are much better for both animals and keeping them safe.

Most importantly, Dogs have preferences. Not every dog needs to be friends with another animal. Coexisting peacefully, with clear boundaries and thoughtful management, is often the healthiest goal.

Red Flags

Some human responses, even when well-intended, can undermine trust and safety. For instance, forcing affection—petting, hugging, or coaxing a dog into interaction—can quickly erode confidence. Ignoring or laughing off stress signals, such as freezing, lip licking, turning away, or yawning, also can be scary, and teaches a dog that their communication isn’t being heard. (This is a fast way for things to escalate to growls and bites, as dog's feel they need to be clearer to communicate effectively).

Be sure also to guard against the belief that the dog will get used to the person or animal. Dogs don’t habituate to stress through exposure alone, and they can respond poorly to forced situations. Without safety and choice, repeated overwhelm (also known as flooding) often leads to learned helplessness or shutdown, as well as anxiety, or even escalation.

Things to Remember

Remember that your dog trusts you to protect their boundaries. They can't voice their concerns in a way most humans understand, therefore they rely on you to notice when something feels like too much. They trust you to advocate on their behalf.

The right partner for your will respect your animals needs and wants, they will take their time and understand that building trust with your dog is not about winning affection. Rather it is about offering safety, patience, and consistency.

Thoughtfully written by Becky Osborne. If you enjoyed this and would like to support me further you can:
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The Month of Love: Helping Your Dog Through New Relationships

Valentine’s Day will soon be upon us, and is often framed as a celebration of romantic love—but love doesn’t exist in a vacuum. When we enter a new relationship, everything changes. Our routines adjust, our attention divides, and our emotional energy changes. While this can be exciting for us, our dogs often experience these transitions very differently.

Dogs are exquisitely sensitive to change. They pick up on subtleties we miss, they notice when schedules alter and when scents in the home are unfamiliar. Our dogs are even sensitive to the atmosphere and energy, if we are distracted or emotionally pulled elsewhere, they know all about it. 

If your dog seems clingier, quieter, more unsettled, or more anxious when you start dating someone new, it isn’t jealousy or misbehaviour. It’s communication.

For many dogs—especially sensitive or anxious ones—predictability equals safety. When a new relationship enters the picture, even small changes can feel destabilizing and, at times, world-ending. When routines are disrupted, the emotional availability they’re used to can feel different. Walks may be shorter or happen at different times. There may be less play, less cuddling. A dog who once slept with their guardian may now be locked out of the bedroom. From your dog’s perspective, the world feels off-kilter, and the safe spaces they relied on are suddenly far less available.

Now, this doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong, and neither has your dog. All it means is that your dog is noticing these changes and asking for reassurance. Their behaviour may appear as if they are acting out, or being "naughty", but dogs have no moral compass, nor are they spiteful. Their behaviour is communication, and if their needs aren't being met as they once were, they will let you know about it by changes in their behaviour.

Supporting your Dog

One of the most powerful ways to support your dog during times of change is to anchor them in consistency. Often, one predictable routine that belongs just to you and your dog is enough to help their nervous system settle. A morning walk, an evening cuddle, a short training game, or a calm check-in before bed can act as a grounding thread they can consistently rely on.

It’s also important to resist the urge to push dogs to adjust quickly. Even if you have the friendliest dog in the world, emotional processing still takes time. Some days they may seem perfectly fine, and other days more unsettled, even if they seem "ok" they are still dealing with these changes. 

Progress is rarely linear, you will take steps forward and steps back, and that’s okay. Sensitivity is not a flaw—it’s a reflection of how deeply dogs attune to the people they love.

If your dog appears withdrawn or reactive during this period—whether you’re dating or simply spending more time with a partner—try to view their behaviour through a lens of compassion rather than correction. Put yourself in their paws and ask:

• What has changed from their point of view?

• Do they feel comfortable around this new person?

• Can connection be offered at a different time if routines are disrupted?

• Where might they need more clarity, safety, or reassurance?

• Can I involve them in more activities with us?

Most importantly, remember this: love does not have to be divided to be shared.

There is still room for romantic connection and for the bond you share with your dog to coexist. In many cases, your dog was with you first and that should be considered. With kindness, thoughtful routines, and emotional awareness, relationships can grow without leaving anyone behind.

This Valentine’s Day, while you enjoy loves old or new, remember your dog. Their love is unconditional, it is irreplaceable, and it is precious. If your dog seems unsettled during big life changes, you’re not failing them—but it is an invitation to listen. So notice what they are saying and respond with understanding and kindness.

Thoughtfully written by Becky Osborne. If you enjoyed this and would like to support me further you can:
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Lessons from Chise's First Year

The thing about being an Ethical Dog Training Professional is that you are always learning. You have to be open to new experiences and particularly, new personalities. 

One year ago, Chise came into our lives. In the months since, she’s taught me so much more than I ever expected—about patience, joy, trust, and the little ways love shows up every day. Allow me to share with you some of the most important lessons she’s shared.

1. Be open to exploration.
Every day, Chise chases a new scent. She follows the flight path of birds, dives through deep snow, and plunges into unfamiliar smells, sounds, and sights with a bravery that is genuinely awe-inspiring. Yet she isn’t careless. She keeps an eye on her surroundings, occasionally scanning for potential threats, but she doesn’t let fear or wariness stop her from experiencing the beauty of the world around her.

2. Slow down. 
This is something that Chise excels at, and this links into my last point. Though Chise does hurl herself into new things, she also slows down and observes things carefully. Hours by the window watching the world go by, time spent on the sofa having snuggles, and even just waking up from a nap to take another nap. Chise reminds me daily that life isn’t about rushing toward the next milestone—it’s about taking your time and learning as you go. It's about prioritizing your health and limitations, and soaking in the smells, the sun, and the calm in-between. 

3. Trust is a treasure.
Chise is a very sensitive girl. From the first day we brought her home, I knew the bond we were forming would be something special—and I was right. Each day, her happy morning greetings, her check ins and her tiny gestures—like burying her biscuit or bone in my blanket—are so profound. She constantly traverses the depth of our understanding and our bond, taking it to a new level. By taking it slow with her training and helping her feel safe, I see firsthand how much of a difference it makes. Being trusted so fully by someone, even a four-legged someone, is a gift I carry every day.

4. Joy is contagious.
Recently, my health hasn’t been great, and I’m learning how to adjust to new circumstances. Staying active can be difficult when you’re dealing with pain—but Chise is very persuasive when it comes to play. Her happy zoomies and bouncing around in playful joy makes me smile. It lifts my heart. When that happens, it's easier to want to try, to get outside. And even on those days where I can't manage much, Chise still teaches me that we can find happiness despite darkness or pain. Joy is meant to be shared, even if that's just with your dog. 

5. Compassion and Patience matters.
Chise struggles with separation anxiety, something we continue to work through together. She has already come so far, and her progress is a testament to what patience and compassion can truly achieve. Training shouldn't be about quick fixes, as so many would have us believe. Rather it should be at the dog's pace, and should prioritize safety.
Some days, Chise doesn't feel up to training, so we don't push through on those days, we rest and we revisit it another day. Just like we have days off from work—dogs are allowed days off too. Dogs have bad days just like we do. When we ignore what they’re trying to tell us, we risk damaging both progress and trust. You know your dog best. Don’t let friends or family—no matter how well-meaning—dictate their care or push their boundaries. You will get some push back, but remember: Your dog has a voice that they do not understand, so you must be their advocate. 

6. One size doesn't fit all.

As a trainer, I already knew this—but Chise reinforced it deeply. Well-established strategies don’t work for every dog, and that’s okay. Training is not a cookie-cutter process. Strategies can be tweaked, and often they should be adjusted. Some dogs have different reinforcers that they find more rewarding. For a long time, Chise wouldn't take treats outside on walks, and that was a learning curve in a way. It had been a long time since I last dealt with a dog who wasn't "food motivated." So, I adjusted things, treats indoors where she would take them, integrated with play. Outside, we focused on decompression, play and verbal praise. The more we decompressed and played, the more engaged she became. Now she takes treats outside, and she is more confident and joyful in her surroundings.

I am so grateful for this past year and for every little moment we’ve shared. Through highs and lows, Chise has not only enriched mine and my husband's life—she’s changed the way we see the world. She helps us to be more careful, more cautious but also more curious.

I hope that wherever you are, you have the chance to learn from the gentle teachers in your life—whether they have two legs, three legs, or four.

Thoughtfully written by Becky Osborne. If you enjoyed this and would like to support me further you can:
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Gotcha Day!

 It's time for the Gotcha Day recap!

Well, as I write this, Chise’s first Gotcha Day celebration is already behind us—but it’s time to relive it.

The day started like most others: my husband got up really early, let Chise out, she came back to bed, and he went to work. Meanwhile, I was on a Zoom call with my Mum and Chise added her usual charm to the call by demanding my attention, playing with her toys and napping. 

After the call, we embarked on our walk. Where we live now is so quiet. Although it was a colder day, it was beautiful—the sun shining, white crystals glistening on the trees, no breeze, and most importantly, lots of smells for Chise.

After our walk, she got one of her new toys!

And after mega zoomies...

We watched one of her favourite wildlife shows.

She fell asleep.

After a couple of hours of well earned sleep, she got a nice snack. 

I joined her in some of her hobbies, like window watching.

And because I had made her cake the day before, I could focus on making us all some food.

Behold! The pizzas! 

(If you’re the curious type, ours was homemade by me: sourdough stuffed crust, then pepperoni’d, cheesed, and spinach’d by my husband. Chise’s pizza had pumpkin, cheese, hot dogs, chicken, and was topped with a variety of her favourite treats—clearly the superior option.)

And because I know you are curious, here is our pizza all cooked:

It was delicious.

Chise's pizza was also a hit, judging from her very empty bowl: 

It was then time for dessert. 

CAKE!

Chise was the only one who got cake—I didn’t quite have the energy to make one for us too, but I did make lemon poppyseed muffins instead. (Her cake was a dog-safe mix of oat flour, peanut butter, unsweetened applesauce, Greek yogurt, blueberries, and a few treats from a mini goodie bag courtesy of Bosley’s on Tabor.)

The cake was also a hit—and let me tell you the cutest part. Chise ate most of her “Ruv u” biscuit, but she left one piece and buried it in my blanket. This little piece:

My heart melted! 

I know she has no idea that the heart-shaped piece is what she buried on me, but the fact that she trusts me with her precious leftover snacks means so much to me. Being fully trusted by a dog is incredible, and I feel so honoured to have her in my life.

This was one fantastic year of Chise, with so many little moments that changed everything. I’ll be sharing a few of those lessons soon, so join me next time for that!

Thoughtfully written by Becky Osborne. If you enjoyed this and would like to support me further you can:
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